I Want to Stay Home, But What About the Finances?

 

I first want to start off by saying that each married couple's financial circumstances are different. Ours won't look like yours and vice versa, so when navigating this area of your life, both you and your husband need to be in regular communication about it and of course being prayerful as well. You won't be able to apply every single thing that I share, to your own life, but just as you are reading this blog post, so have I done, reading from other experienced wives/mothers, and finding what would work for us, using some of the advice and seeing that it actually works! I hope and trust in the Father, that it will be the same for you here. BUT....if you think that you will be able to walk this road without having faith, you are mistaken, we walk by faith and not sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).

While I worked my resignation months finished, Lorenzo and I did our best in our human efforts to pay debt and learning to become good stewards of our finances, but our budget still didn't show that it was "safe" for me to be home, our efforts simply eased some of our financial burden, but a huge part of us still needed to have faith.....faith that we trusted in our heavenly Father to provide for us. I left work pregnant with our 4th child, and a very blurry vision of how we would manage on one income, but we knew, especially Lorenzo, that what we were doing is His will for us, and we felt a sense of urgency that us following His order and structure for our home is what we needed to get sorted ASAP, and that He would help us with the rest, and He did, and still does provide for us. When our 4th child was 3months old, my husband was blessed with a huge salary increase, which we did not see coming! that is only one of the many ways He has provided for us, and today we are far better off financially, then when I was working! We serve a faithful God. 

Okay, I will share a very short portion of what we did during the months I worked before I officially left my job.

When my husband said I could resign from my job, one of the first things I asked myself was "how can I save money now", because we needed extra money to pay off or at least pay half the amounts of the two retail accounts I had. One of the best ways for us to free up extra money, was removing our one son from school, we knew we were going to homeschool anyway. My mom stayed with us at the time and so she would take care of him while I was still working. So, if you really want to save money, take your child/children out of school! 😁, schools are crazy expensive, it's school fees, school uniform, money for outings, money for copy paper, money for toilet paper, money to wear casual clothes, money for transport, and and and.......educating children truly doesn't need to be that expensive, anyway! I'm getting off topic, I'll someday make a post about the benefits of homeschooling! lol.

We were now able to have an extra R1000, it was more, I just cannot remember the exact amount. We used that amount of money to pay off one of my retail accounts. About a month later, I removed my other son from Daycare, and that was an extra R950, which we also used to pay half of my second retail account. I also stopped spending unnecessary money, on clothes, hair colour, getting myself lunch at work, and any other unnecessary thing us women can waste money on. As a family we stopped going out, we cancelled our holiday we had planned that year. In any way possible we saved and used that money to pay off some of our debt. I remember one month we used my whole salary to pay debt. By the time I came home, at least my one retail account was finished paid, and the second account was paid up halfway, that eased the financial burden a little......and that was all we did! There was a bond, and two personal loans, after that was paid with our one income, we had very little left for food, and what about nappies!?, maintenance around the house? and doctor visits?🙈, I actually cannot remember how we managed to get through those days, but we did! and we NEVER went to bed hungry or missed a payment on anything!

While I was home, I learned ways to save money, like cooking from scratch (no take aways, or unnecessary ready-made meals, its much healthier anyway), with our 4th child I used cloth nappies (it's really not that bad! and you get very decent cloth nappies these days). Lorenzo also started a little ice-cream business from home, he sold ice-cream for extra money, and we actually made good profit doing that. That money helped us put food on the table. We also got into growing our own vegetables, and some days I would bake bread instead of buying a loaf.

The Holy Spirit guided us and led us to ideas and ways to live. 

When I decided to walk this path, it made me look at things and ask myself "do I really need that", or " do the children really need that". We became better stewards of our finances, we respected the provision of money that Yahweh God gave us, and we were now very mindful of how we spent money.

We also realized that everything the world portrays that we need, we actually don't need it.... the children actually don't need it, no children don't need name brand clothing and they really don't need a lot of toys, they don't need birthday parties, and if the Father blesses you with many children, then each child does not need their own bedroom.  

You might be thinking "why on earth would I want to sacrifice like that", and the answer is.... the value that you can add to your husband and children's life...your family....by being home full time, just cannot be compared to all those earthly sacrifices, investing in eternal values is far richer than investing in earthly ones. Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, not treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy (Matthew 6:19-21). I've read testimonies of couples who sell everything they have and start over, they scale down their lifestyles to have mom home, there is nothing wrong with that. God sees the heart, if you struggle to let go of earthly pleasures so that you can add eternal value to the lives of your husband and children, then maybe it's time to re-evaluate what is actually in your heart.

So, between yourself and your husband figure out how you can live on one income, where can you scale down. Make plans, have a goal of working towards you coming home full-time, but remember, faith will be required from you. Also know that walking the narrow path, doesn't mean you won't ever struggle financially, Jesus did not promise us a life without pain or suffering, so when you do struggle while you are home full-time, please don't regret leaving your job, handle your problems like you would as if you were working(technically you are still working! you just won't be getting paid for this job😊), by doing your best in your circumstances, praying and continuing to trust the Father. Whether you work full time or not, financial issues will always be there.

But the truth is, it is very possible to live on one income! Please don't believe the lie going around where people actually say " these days, both husband and wife MUST work full-time to have a decent living, children are too expensive for the mother to stay home".... it all depends on you and your husband, are you willing to make the sacrifices, these things become a test of our faith, and it exposes the idols in our heart to.

If you are a single woman, awaiting marriage, how blessed you are to know these things before getting married! you have an opportunity to start right, and an opportunity to choose a husband who is in line with the scriptures. You and your husband-to-be can decide on a type of lifestyle you will live that will enable you to be home full-time. My husband and I are only now pursuing a homesteading lifestyle, this is something you can do from the very start.

And lastly, wives, learn to live within your husband's income, don't add unnecessary pressure on him. Learn to be content with what you have, don't always want the "latest" or the "best" whatever it is you want, clothes, shoes, furniture etc. While it is nice to have nice things, be careful that the lust of your eyes and the pride of life has not become an idol in your heart.

" Do not love the world or the things in the world. 

If anyone loves the world, the love of the

Father is not in him. For all that is in the 

world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of

the eyes, and the pride of life - is not of

the Father but is of the world. And

the world is passing away, and the 

lust of it; but he who does the will 

of God abides forever."

1 John 2:15-17

With Love

Colette