Submitting to Our Husband: Why and How

In the post I made, sharing my testimony about how I became a full time wife and mother, I mentioned the "feminist movement". If you would like to learn more about this movement, you may watch these two videos by a YouTube channel called "TruthUnedited": What is Feminism and The History of Our Mind Control

I highly recommend that you take the time to watch the videos, it goes into great detail about how this movement came to be (FYI, the gentleman who is behind "TruthUnedited" is a follower of our Messiah, and so these videos are made from a Biblical perspective). If we want to break free from satan's mental bondages, then it is good to be renewed in our minds by knowing his works, so that we do not conform to the patterns of this world. (Romans 12:1; Hosea 4:6). I will give a very small summary about the movement in this post.

It was in the 1950s/1960s that this movement started arising among women, it was not inspired by the Holy Spirit, and it was definitely not something that the Father desired that women become a part of. The feminist movement stole wives out of their homes, and it destroyed the family unit. It also destroyed the order and structure that Yahweh God designed for the home.

(picture was taken from "The Official Scott Roberts Website", and is used for illustration purposes only)

Our marriages belong to the Father, His order and structure is a reflection of His Kingdom, when we enter into a marriage covenant, we are then representing His Kingdom. By following His order and structure for the marriage we are showing the world how Father Yahweh intends for a marriage to be.

No matter how we feel, and how we have modernized, the Bible teaches us that He stays the same through the ages, He does not change or modernize (Malachi 3:6 ; Isaiah 40:8), but rather in each generation He seeks for those who are willing to represent Him here on earth (2 Chronicles 16:9) - "a holy nation......a royal priesthood" (1Peter 2:9). The enemy is very aware of this, and satan has used the feminist movement through many passing generations, and still today, to cause wives to rebel against needing to submit to their husbands.

" Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."

Ephesians 5:22-24

"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands.......for in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror."

1 Peter 3:1 & 3:5-6

We read in the scripture that submission is a Biblical concept and is the heart of the Father.

Why Should Wives Submit?

1. Submission is a covering of protection and provision for a woman. Women are more vulnerable than men, the Bible says we are the "weaker vessel" (1 Peter3:7), and "weaker" does not mean less than or less powerful(we are actually very powerful when we do submit), "weaker" means we do not have the physical strength as a man, and because of this, Yahweh God created a covering for the woman, which would be her husband if she is married, or her father if she is unmarried. It is actually such a beautiful picture.

I know in today's society there are many broken homes, where there is no dad/husband, or sometimes the dad/husband is in the home but does not do his role as a man should, but that does not nullify the original design of Yahweh, being, that a woman should be under a covering, and it's His way of taking care of us.

2. Women tend to be very controlling and manipulative, that is our fallen nature, we have inherited that sin from our mother Eve. When we want to lead and be in control, when we "sit on our husband's head" or "wear the pants", it can get us into trouble. That's why, stress, depression, anxiety, high blood pressure is higher among women, because we are not created to carry the load that a man is supposed to i.e. leading, protecting and providing.

Being under a covering helps us to "stay in our lane" and out of trouble😉.

How Can I Be Submissive?

Learning to be submissive won't happen overnight. In the beginning it will be hard, your flesh won't like it, but as you continue to practice submission accompanied by prayer, and sometimes fasting( this is a spiritual battle, the spirit of jezebel does not like submission) it will become easier and it will even start being a delight to you😊, there is nothing more relaxing than not having to carry the weight of a man's role.

Okay, back to the "how" part, these points helped me:

1. Leaving my job - I have nothing against wives/mothers bringing in an income, if we read in Proverbs 31, she worked in that way to. There are also many wives/mothers who find ways to generate an income from home, but the Proverbs31 woman was definitely not spending long hours away from her husband and children, everything she did was centered around her family, and not her family centered around her career, there is a very big difference between the two.

When I worked full time, I had a sense of independence and pride, which should not be the case, because a wife is supposed to be dependent upon her husband, and not independent from him. So, when I left my job, it broke away a lot of pride I had and humbled me, because now, I have to look to my husband to literally take care of me (feed me, clothe me, etc.) and this caused me to have more respect for Lorenzo, and in turn it made Lorenzo feel more manly. For him to be in the position of being the only provider made him, feel good, and he stepped up in an amazing way. Yahweh was also able to bless Lorenzo as provider, because now he was in his position, the Father will equip the husband to provide, but the wife needs to step out of the way. When we do what the husband is supposed to be doing, we actually cripple our husbands. 

Men thrive in an environment where they can rule and lead as King's, it is their God-given nature, and it is a very sad and an ugly picture when a husband must lead with his wife, or the wife leads, and husband follows.

I know that some men actually refuse to provide alone, they expect their wives to work, this type of mentality of a man did not exist before the feminist movement, men always knew that they had to provide for their wife and children. Men have become weak because of the feminist movement.

You might be thinking " how do we live on one income", I will cover that topic in a different post.

There is an exception to this, like husbands who are physically or mentally unable to work. But know that the husband was created to go out and work, and the wife was created to work in her home by taking care of her husband, children and home, and if time affords, she is able to run a business from home to. By not going out to work, it can help you to be a submissive wife.

2. I got into a habit of ALWAYS going to Lorenzo FIRST, for counsel or guidance on issues I had, not to anyone else, if a third party is to get involved in my life, then it is because my husband has advised me or agreed with me to go that route. Lorenzo is my head, Yahweh God has given him that authority over me (that authority belongs to the Father, and comes from the Father, for my good), so husbands have the ability to lead their wives very well! I have taken many counsel/advice from Lorenzo that I did not feel very comfortable with, but in the end, things have worked out well for me😊. This is not something that I soley trust Lorenzo for, the scripture says we are to submit to our husband "as to the Lord", ultimately, we are submitting to the Father when we submit to our husband, when I go to Lorenzo for advice, I go with the mentality that Yahweh God is going to give me sound instruction for my situation through my husband.

3. I do whatever Lorenzo asks me to do for him. If our husband does not lead us into sin, we should do as they ask of us, or if you are being abused then don't submit to that.

Even if your husband is an unbeliever, you should still do as he asks, or submit to him, as long as you are not being abused or your husband is not leading you to do sinful things, as I mentioned above. We are not required to only submit to a husband who is a believer or to a husband that does his role, but I will touch on this subject towards the end of this post - there is scripture for this situation.

We are our husband's helper (Genesis 2:18), wives were created for the husband, not husband for the wife (1 Corinthians 11:9). A husband cannot function well enough in life if his helpmeet(wife) is not on her place, fulfilling her role, we are literally our husband's helper.

Sometimes Lorenzo cannot get certain things done because he works long hours, and he would ask me to do things for him like, hire a trailer, do research for him about rainwater harvesting, go to the Neighbour and ask for something specific, etc. whatever it is I gladly help him out. You see why not working full time makes it easier to be submissive, you are also readily available when your husband needs your help.

I know of a wife whose husband loves curry food, and he would like to have that 3 times a week, she does it for him. Another wife I know bakes a certain dessert every Sunday, because her husband asks for it, and so she gladly does it.

Then of course, I see to the normal day-to-day tasks that I know Lorenzo would like me to do, e.g.: a home cooked meal in the evenings, keeping the house neat and tidy, have clean clothes ready, take care of the children well.

In different seasons things will look different in our home, like when we have a newborn baby, or when I'm sick, he doesn't mind helping out and he does so with joy, but for the most part I see to the home, and I don't expect him to do my work. When Lorenzo put's his feet through the door in the evenings, I want him to feel relaxed, loved and important, the weight of a husband to provide and be responsible for his family( the husband will give answer to Yah someday about how he has lead his wife and children) is a heavy load, while he is able to handle that, I don't expect him to lift a finger when he gets home, I happily serve him, and do my best to get the things done that he has asked me to do.

Unbelieving Husbands:

"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands,

that even if some do not obey the word, they, without

a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,

when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied 

by fear"

1 Peter 3:1-3

This scripture teaches us that wives who continue in their Biblical role, have the ability to actually win their husband over to Messiah. " when they(husbands), without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives", your unbelieving husband can come to Christ when you continue to treat him with respect, honor, and submission despite the fact that he is not doing his part as the husband, but your "conduct", the way you carry yourself in your marriage, your husband might view as " here is this woman still loving me, respecting me, even though I'm not doing my part. I'm not worthy of her love", the undeserving love you give your unbelieving husband, despite his wrong doings, will model to him Christ's love, and in turn, he can be won over to our Saviour.

To constantly nag, complain, and "bible bash" your husband about how bad he is, is definitely a way of pushing him further away from you, and further away from Christ.

"Better to dwell in the wilderness, than 

with a contentious and angry woman"

Proverbs 21:19 NKJV

"Better to live in a desert than with

a quarrelsome and nagging wife"

Proverbs 21:19 NIV

I will end the post here. I hope this has been a blessing to you. 

If you are looking for more encouragement on being a better wife, or if you are struggling in your marriage, please visit this website called Above Rubies, there you will find many testimonies of wives who have struggled and triumphed in their marriages.

With Love

Colette