How To Love Our Children Well

"that they (older women) admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good......"

Titus 2:4-5

Yahweh God teaches women in the scriptures that we need to love our children, He asks the older women within a congregation to teach young women to love their children. Since we need be taught this, it means that we have an ability to neglect our children.

When I think of neglected children, the picture of struggling children, roaming the streets comes to my mind, they look as if they need a good wash, some decent clothes, and a warm meal to eat. I quickly think to myself "my children are not neglected", they are fed, clothed and sleep in a warm bed.... BUT there is so much more to a child than just that.

When my 5th child was a few months old, Yahweh God gave me a dream, in the dream there was a group of children, very well dressed, different ages. They were conversating with one another, some had cellphones in their hands, and they were just enjoying one another's company. Behind them was a Python snake heading for them, this snake was huge! and I called to them, telling them that they needed to run, but they did not listen to me, in the dream it seemed as if they could not hear me, and even when they did look at me, their faces were relaxed, and they carried on with their conversations.

When I awoke from that dream, the Holy Spirit said to me that those are the children of parents who do not take care of the souls of their children, and that is why the children cannot recognize the enemy(satan), or cannot see danger coming, because no one is teaching them to. I immediately got up out of bed, went on my knees and started interceding for parents - asking the Father to help us take up our roles in our home, and raise children in the fear of Him.

The dream had taught me, that well dressed and fed children are also highly neglected, they might look good on the outside, but their souls look like the hungry children roaming the streets. Our jobs as mothers (and fathers) are very important.

When I came home full-time, intentional mothering (mothering with a purpose) became a high priority for me. I had never given so much thought into mothering as I do now.

Through Yah's grace and mercy, He has taught me how to love my children well, and I will share some of that with you, these are things that He has told me to give attention to while raising my children:

• Teach Your Children To Be Obedient - This was the very first thing He showed me that I needed to work on. I won't be able to teach them anything else if they do not obey me. I read the book, Raising Godly Tomatoes, and spent time applying what I learnt in the book, and to my surprise my children started listening to me😁, and I built close relationships with each of them. This is still an ongoing process in our home. No, my children are not perfect and well behaved all the time, the point is, that when you do instruct, or ask something of them, that they will listen to you and obey with a willing heart, because if they cannot obey us now, then how will they obey their Father in heaven. They need to understand authority and respect it. So, one day when the Father calls them, they can happily and easily be obedient to Him, and hopefully not wrestle with a rebellious spirit. A home is unpleasant when children are disobedient and disrespectful, mom and dad are shouting/screaming out of frustration because their children won't listen to them. It doesn't have to be that way, and it is usually the lack of child training on the parent's part that causes their home to be in that state. 

• Be Mindful Of Food and Medicine - This was never something I ever considered! I just went with the flow of what everyone else is doing, but being aware of the foods and medicine our children take in is a huge benefit to their well-being, for their present health, which will affect their future health. Teach your children what food is according to the Bible(Genesis 1:29, Leviticus 11, Ezekiel 4:9-11). Some families adopt a vegan lifestyle, raw vegan, Keto or Western Price lifestyles. Choose whatever suits your family, as long as it's real and whole foods. We try to follow a Western Price lifestyle. Let medicine be holistic and natural (when we eat healthy, food becomes our medicine to, acting as a preventative measure), not every injection needs to be taken. I have witnessed my children's health do so well when we made changes to our food and medicine. Even when they do become sick, the recovery process is usually quick. We must take care of our temples, He has created certain things that is healthy for us, and He cares about what is going in it (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

 

• Read (and live) The Bible To Your Children - I started doing this with a children's Bible I already had at home, but I noticed that it was very watered down (the one I had), and I just read to them directly from my own Bible. I read stories that I knew would keep their attention, like, David and Goliath, Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, Samson, Yahshua's/Jesus's miracle stories in the New Testament, etc. I learned to read to them by changing my voice for the different people who spoke🙈, I tried to make it exciting! and they did listen to me! lol. Its awkward when you start off. Today we are reading the Bible daily, I do morning readings after Breakfast, and Lorenzo does evening readings after supper. My children love it! and they will ask for it if we forget or decide not to do a reading. Our 12-year-old and 10-year-old can listen to chapters being read to them without getting bored, it's amazing! they get used to it! On a Shabbat, I would play audio Bible for them to.

"And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Know What Your Children Are Watching On Screens - There is a real spiritual battle for the souls of our children through screens, most cartoons are nonsense, displaying disobedient children characters, the role of a dad is usually portrayed as incompetent, and the mothers need to take the lead to save the family. Porn is so easily accessible to. Children spending hours in front of a screen is also bad for their development. As parents we should protect our children. I will share how Lorenzo and I handle screens in our home. You and your husband need to decide how you will handle it in your own home.

None of our children own a cellphone or tablet, they are not yet emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle the responsibility that comes with having one. We have a TV, but it is mostly used for connecting our laptop to it to watch YouTube videos, we don't have DSTV, Netflix etc. Our children don't watch mainstream cartoons or movies, if movies or cartoons are watched on YouTube, it first gets approved by Lorenzo or me. Our children also don't listen to secular music. They get "screen time"(to watch things they like) usually over weekends, and during the week, when we need to watch something that is connected to a homeschool lesson.

Some might think "poor children, the parents are so strict", to be honest with you, we can see the benefits in our children, compared to other children who are their ages and get exposed to whatever they want. We are managing to preserve some of their child like innocence, the way children ought to be. Our children play outside ALOT, they explore, play imaginary games, build things etc., and they enjoy listening to a good story book (I read lots of quality story books to my children). This way of living, has helped them to notice ungodly things in stories or whatever they watch on the screen. Lorenzo and I are always in open communication with our children about things that are seen as "normal" in the world.

Have an Understanding About the Education System - This is so very important, we need to know what our children are being taught and who are the people influencing them for long hours, children who attend a school and daycare, spend most of their time in the care of others, then with their own parents.

We homeschool, and Yahweh God lead us to do this, because He wants us to disciple our own children, teach them His word and be the main influencers in their lives. That is the role of parents. The school system takes away the main authority in the children's lives, which is the parents, it is a God-given authority, it is our right to stand in that authority. If you live in South Africa, then every parent should be aware of the BELA BILL, and if you are "awake", you will see how parents are undermined through that Bill. In a different post I will go into more detail about homeschooling, if you can read, write and do basic math, you can homeschool!

Dr. Voddie Bauchum(homeschooling father to 9 children), is an American pastor, author, and educator. He currently serves as Dean of Theology at African Christian University in Lusaka, Zambia. 

And of course, we also love our children well by showing them affection, telling them we love them, and surprising them with gifts. 💜

I hope this post has been a blessing to you. If there is anything else that the Father has showed you with regards to the raising of children, that I have not mentioned here, then please share with me, I would love to hear about it. Also, any other good books on parenting to.😊 

With Love

Colette